Poetry

Well guys, I am pleased to inform you all that I received a letter yesterday from the Poetry Institute of Africa informing me that my poem Dying which was posted on my blog in December has been chosen to be published in there anthology “Venturing Vistas”.

I was so shocked to hear and still cant believe it. Well if anyone missed it here it is again.

Dying

I’m standing here alone in this icy cold room
You have left me in the darkness
Left me here in my thoughts
To feel the pain you inflict
Your words tear open my soul
Your hands break open my skin
I’m failing at this game of life
Losing each and every day
My soul is fading
With each waking moment
I’m slipping into the darkness
Shadows all around me
Disappearing more and more
I cannot see that sweet guiding light
Its been extinguished. You killed it.
I hate you for that I hope your happy
I hope you can sleep at night
Do you even realize what you have done?
You have broken me down
You have killed all the good in me
My tortured soul filled with hate
There is nothing left
I will vanish in all my despair
To be forever lost

Feeling Old

Its amazing how old a person can get and so quickly… Being a mom I have so many responsibilities. So many things I have to do. You cant let your concentration slip for one second. I find myself at the age of 23 feeling like a 50 year old. I have black bugs under my eyes…Im always tired. I get up at god awful times of the morning and go to bed at untimely times of the night. I work a (including travelling times) 7am-6.30pm job, get home sort out my daughter, have some play time, put her to bed about 8, then I eat, bath, watch an hour of tv and sort out things for the next day and in bed by 11.30 if I’m lucky. There is no time for dating… No time for friends. The saying WORK HARD PLAY HARDER does not apply here… LOL

I said to my mother the other day – Ooh I would love to go away for the weekend and go lye on the beach. My mother turned around and said YOU’RE A MOTHER NOW. And I guess in a way that’s the path I have chosen. I chose to be this old person with no friends and no love of my life. Oddly enough as lonely as what I get I would not change it for the world. I love that little girl more than anything and don’t regret having her. The vacation will just have to wait till she is a bit older.

Its still amazes me how people respond to you once they find out you’re a mother. Especially guys. First question is… Where’s the father? Followed by Oh you’re a single mom!!! Its almost a guarantee you wont see them again.

The only thing that pisses me off (and this is the first and last time you will here me say this) I was not the only one there that night. I chose to take responsibility for my actions and her father just decides he doesn’t want to. What the hell is I don’t want to. Coward. He is going to miss the best thing that ever happened to him….

Well just needed to rant and rave a tad…

mwah

You

Today was the day!
I heard the tragic news
My heart is shattered
My soul cries out

Why Why Why
Why you
Why today
Why like this

I miss you so ... I love you so
I have all these years
You never knew
I should have said

If only i had said something
Told you how I felt
Things would be so different now
Maybe you would still be here...

WHY WHY WHY
WHY YOU
WHY TODAY
WHY LIKE THIS

I never thought id see this day
I never thought it would come
I thought u would out live us all
But sadly you have not.

My dear friend
My love...
You will be sadly missed
But never forgotten

Nolan Liebenburg July 1985 - January 2007 (Tragic sky diving accident)

HEY HEY

Hi Guys,

Sorry I have been away for so long... definately missed all you guys. My life has been seriously hectic these last few weeks. I came back from dec leave on the Friday 12 Jan, and resigned from my post. My boss said I should leave immediately (OUCH) and not work my months notice. So I was at work approximately 3 hours then went back home...

Tuesday came around and my sister informed us that she and her boyfriend would be getting married the upcoming saturday and then moving to london within the next 2 1/2 weeks time... I was the bridesmaid! So from wednesday through to friday night I was planning wedding... Wednesday we ordered the cake, and the flowers-sunflowers they were beautiful as well as all the other catering stuff. Thursday found her dress, and the rings, Friday came, had to arrange my outfit and sort out her bachelorette party... for such short notice it was a blast. The wedding was beautiful, except for my daughter throwing up in the church as they are about to say I DO. Such is life... LOL

The next few days spent as much time with my sis and nephew as I could only going to see them in december again. I miss her terrible... My mother always use to say we were joined at the hip. sigh... They left on thursday night.
I start working at a new company on Thursday looking forward to it, hope it was the right move but only time will tell...

So I do appologise for being so absent... Glad to see everyone is doing so well.

Mwah Mwah